Minor Peeve of the Week #1

Minor Peeve of the Week: It makes me depressed that all the kids flannel jammies are polyester. I mean, I know my children are in danger of bursting into flames as they sleep each night, but sheesh. And the secondary peeve that is part of that peeve is that to shop for cotton flannel jammie pants for my kids I have to shop for "cotton flannel lounge pants." And also that apparently J.C.Penney has stopped carrying these, or at least at the one nearby. They were always my go-to for flannel pants because they always had tons of 100% cotton ones on sale at the holidays. Pooh.

Family Camping Trip Packing List

Some of my fondest memories in Girl Scouts are of preparing for camping and backpacking. I've written before about the "stuff" involved. Although getting out of town puts me on edge and makes me almost unbearable to be around, I actually enjoy the mental preparation for a trip, and I like going over the checklists. I enjoy the anticipation of breaking routine, exploring, thinking about where all this equipment will take us.

Could we get by with less than the list below?  Of course.  The first time I really took the kids camping on my own, I felt that we had really overdone it in terms of equipment.  However, once we had a well-organized camping site, it allowed us to spend several days together without having to flail around, look for things, drop things in the dirt, etc. every time we wanted to prepare a meal or get ready for bed.  A well-organized and well-stocked campsite makes it a lot easier with kids, tell you what.  Mine are elementary aged, and it's the golden age for camping trips.  They are old enough to help, not too whiny, and excited to explore anything new.  I can still get them interested in identifying types of trees, wildflowers, birds and rocks.  It's the best family activity I know.  Hopefully our list helps you prepare your next trip.

This link will take you to my document with any changes I make to it, but here's the list as it stands right now:

Camping Trip Packing List

Shelter and Sleeping

• Ground cloth
• Tent(s)
• Sleeping pads
• inflatable mattress & pump
• cots
• Sleeping bags
• Pillows
• Chairs
• rug for tent entryway

Camp Kitchen

• folding table
• Stove (be sure to test it each time before you go)
• Stove fuel
• Charcoal and lighter fuel (if grilling)
• Firewood and kindling (if allowed)
• Matches/lighter
• Cooking pots and pans
• Cast iron grill
• Extra drinking water & large water dispenser (to get you started & then to refill for your campsite)
• Utensil set (including spoons, knives, forks, and cooking utensils such as serving spoons, knives, and spatulas) TONGS.
• Can opener
• Mess kits for everyone (plates, cups, bowls)
• sporks
• Cooler and ice  (make block ice)
• Dish detergent
• Dish towels/ small towels
• Sponge/scraper
• Plastic basin (for washing dishes)
• Small bottle of bleach or antibacterial kitchen cleaner
• Tablecloth
• Trash bags
• Foil
• Ziploc bags
• Hot pads
• Citronella candle
• Food Items
• Snacks
• Fruit
• Peanut butter and bread (very quick and handy if your kids like it)
• Butter/cooking oil
• Condiments (salt, pepper, multi-spice, and mustard/catsup when applicable)
• Beverages (juice boxes, milk)
• Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate
• Milk, sugar (if needed)
• Desserts
• Makings for s'mores (marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate)
• 2 big coolers.  Picnic cooler.

Handy Stuff

• Extra shade-- tarp or whatever

• Paracord
• Rubber bands/ zip ties
• bungee cords
• extra adjustable straps
• Clothespins
• Duct tape
• Multi-tool/utility knife & vise grips
• Small handheld broom (for sweeping out the tent)
• Lantern
• Headlamps for all
• Batteries/ car chargers for everything
• bandana

Toiletries

• washcloths
• Soap
• Hand sanitizer
• Shampoo/ conditioner (if showers)
• Face cleanser/ moisturizer
• Quarters for pay showers (?)
• Toothbrushes/toothpaste
• Deodorant
• Razor
• Toilet paper and trowel
• Sunscreen
• Lip balm
• Baby wipes

First Aid/ Medical

• Bandages
• Gauze/ tape
• Ace bandage  (or instead of tape I buy that stretchy stuff that sticks to itself and it can double for an ace bandage)
• Benadryl
• Neosporin (with pain relief)
• Bug repellent
• Ibuprofen
• Tweezers
• Moleskin (if hiking)
• Prescription meds

Clothing for All

• Shoes/Boots
• Shorts
• Long pants
• Tee shirts
• Sandals/flip-flops or water shoes (for public showers)
• Wool socks
• Underwear
• Rain/wind jacket
• sweater or jacket
• Pajamas
• Bathing suits
• Sunglasses
• beanie-type hat
• Sun hat/ cap
• Swim towels
• Daypacks

Essentials

• Water bottles/ hydration packs
• Camera
• Video camera
• Reading material for all (including good bedtime stories)
• Guidebooks and maps
• Camping reservation info
• Cell phone

Kid Stuff

• Bicycles
• Whistle/compass
• crawdadding equipment (line, hook, summer sausage, bucket)
• knot-tying books
• Toys, board games, or deck of cards
• Journal or sketchbook & writing/drawing implements.

Violence to Oneself

Suicide.  The cliched territory of "troubled teens" and a horror of a topic for any writing teacher.  In the past year alone I have strengthened relationships with students over the topic, destroyed relationships with students over my mandatory reporting responsibilities, witnessed students wrestle with their proverbial and hallucinatory demons in their notebooks, peeked beneath the veil of metaphor at the will of girls to disappear,  and talked with tortured parents about the precarious lives of their children. It is a heartbreaking reality of being a teacher, but especially an English teacher, that I must encounter and directly respond to the pain of so many kids.

However, today was a new experience.  My son ran up to me when I picked my kids up at their after school program.  He said, "Today was a terrible day."  Usually this means he has misbehaved incorrigibly and "lost his day" according to his discipline plan.  He is in an Emotionally Disabled self-contained classroom, and mainstreams out into a gifted classroom.

What he meant today is that a classmate became very upset because the two of them were late to class and lost points on their sheets.  They had been kept after by the before-school program so that they could finish taking attendance.  Both boys were upset (for good reason).  Apparently, the other boy's fit escalated, and he threatened to kill himself and went out of control, snapping a handful of pencils in half and sending leads everywhere, trying to stab himself with a pencil, trying to escape the classroom, yelling, screaming.  Finally he had to be physically restrained.  My son gets to witness physical restraints on other students almost daily, though he has rarely if ever been restrained.  My son's response to me that afternoon was "He will kill himself.  One day, he will.  He's already attempted it and been hospitalized. They need to do something."  This was all said matter-of-factly in my son's "I'm a 55-year-old man in a 10-year-old's body" voice.

Many times this year I have tried to imagine what it must be like to witness this kind of violent outburst on almost a daily basis.  He also hears the students call teachers obscene names and threaten them, as well as witnessing the kids actually hit and kick teachers.  I don't like it.  But there are reasons he ended up in that room, behaviors and emotions he still doesn't seem to be able to control.  For now, the E.D. classroom seems to be the safest place for everyone, and the place where he can learn about the consequences of his choices with very clear guidelines.

At any rate, the last year has taught me this:  That we as humans are inextricably linked. When a child considers or commits suicide, it doesn't just affect that child, or that child's family. Just as my son was frightened and overwhelmed by what he witnessed today in class, I grieve for my students who struggle with the darkness and the seeming meaninglessness of life.  I grieve for them, I love them and I do what I can.  At times, a teacher's ability to impact these feelings in students feels utterly intractable, impossible.  Still, like that small feathery thing that Emily Dickinson writes about, the urge to protect, to support, to befriend are incorrigible. Those impulses ride out the storm. They don't go away. What do we do with them?  We acknowledge them and make the best decisions we can for each young person we teach or parent. Despite anything else, I must remain present, even if it means heartbreak.

My House When I Sit to Grade on Sunday

A Sunday Sampler:

I have told my children that I NEED to get grading done.  I haven't brought a lot of grading home in the past several weeks because what is the point?  I can't get it done with my husband out of town most of the time now.  But quarter grades are this week, and parents and students want to know where they stand.

Keep in mind I was required to respond to all of the below.  Keep in mind this is highly fragmented because I should be grading right now and I don't have time to write down all my response. This all began around 12.  There was more before that...

Kid: "Mom, I did it!  I did it!  I got the gold!"

Kid: [Long long explanation of the way other kid got the gold out of the leprechaun trap]

Kid: "Mom.  Look at how much money I have.  Look!  Do you wish you had all this cash?  How did I get all these 20's?  Did I cash them out?  I wonder what I should do with all these ones?...."

Kid: "Hey mom?  Could you cash anything out for these ones?"

Kid: "Mom.  Do you like to have higher bills in your wallet at once?  Isn't it easier than having all those ones?"

Kid: "Mom, do you have like a normal, plain box for my leprechaun trap?"

Kid: "Hey, mom, a shoebox would work, right?  Roxy's kennel might work, but...  Ooh! a garbage can!

Kid: "I'm going outside with the hose..."

[Me, yelling: "You don't have ay clothes on!  What are you thinking! Put on some clothes!"]

Kid: "I need underwear."

Kid: "Is it lunchtime yet?"

Kid: "Mom, can I go outside on my bike?"

Kid: "I'm bored.  Ooh! Mom! Mom! Mom! Can I go on that computer uncle Bill gave me and see if I can get it on the internet? So what do I do? Plug it into the router?  Let's see, where's a USB..."

Kid: "So I plug this into into the net here?"

Kid: [dressed and wearing my sunglasses] "Mom, is there a certain kind of soap to wash trash cans?"

Kid: "Mom, can I buy a Minecraft account?"

Kid: "I'm going outside to do something."

Kid: "But why not?"

Kid: "I'm bored!"

Kid: "Can I walk the dog around at least?"

Kid: "Where's her leash?"

...

allofasudden a kid is standing in a plastic tub full of water with the hose on in 63 degree weather and a tank top and another kid has the drill plugged in with the wire crossing the path of the wet hose and he's got another plastic tub upturned to make a planting container but it's too shallow of a tub but the tub he wants is full of water with a little girl and a dachshund in it and I ask where his original tub went from when he was shoveling clay-heavy soil into it at the back of the yard a moment ago, but he's cleaned it out and filled it with christmas decorations so that he could use the other tub which is now filled with water and a little girl and a dog.  Aftermuchyelling we sort all that out and then the holes are drilled and  kids are off to the alleyway to gather gravel.  The neighbor tells them to watch out for transients gathering scrap metal and they bring their rock-lined tubs over for my inspection.  I remind them about the extra sand outside our wall.  That's wehre they are now, but the dog's collar is off and the flimsy temporary fence is taken down and an x-wing fighter, two little boy ties, nine socks, a blanket and assorted debris and a still-half-packed backpack from Camp Cooper litter the living room and can I get up a sec to check out the sand they shoveled?  A pile of laundry goes in and the dry stuff out of the drier first and onto my bed which has no sheets because I had to wash them because the dog peed on them really massively for no particular reason earlier in the week and the bed is also piled with about two weeks of clean laundry which we keep picking over to find our outfits for the day.  I think the dog is lonely since we had to put Markey to sleep. I call to refill prescriptions, the insurance is terminated and the pharmacist wants me to set up an online account for my son because there are no customer service phone hours on the weekend and he's out of his pills that help him focus at school all week.  The dachshund just jumped into the bin filled with water, ran through the dirt, ran inside, jumped on the couch, shook herself and slunk into her kennel when I started yelling.  Meanwhile I've been trying to clear off the table so I can sit upright instead of in an easy chair and spread out my grading so the kids don't htink I'm just messing around on Facebook.  I'm hoping it sends a message, but I've been trying to grade for 3 1/2 hours and have finished absolutely nothing, though I've started several things.  The recycling pile is out of control and needs to be taken out to the bin.  I'm about to give up and do dishes, mop the floor and collapse and have a good cry.

5:15 p.m.  So much for grading this afternoon, I guess.

8:20 p.m.  Note:  The piles on the right are "to be graded." My "finished" pile is that tiny pile above my computer.  Also about 40 more essays in Googledocs.  Ay, ay, ay.

 Of course, blogging is more fun, and I'd lose my mind completely without this outlet.

Small Birthday Poem for My Daughter

The Dance

The day is a ribbon 
curling from the sky for you
Unimposed upon,
you will spend it twirling
round it, twisting upward
bright and blue 
into its blue

you step blithely
and spin, unfurling
your little spirit
upon the world.


(evolving draft, revised 2/3)

Winter Break

Scooters and stars. Doggie time and daddy time. Puzzles and cocktails. Board games and cooked breakfasts. Books and tweets. Closets organized. Children cuddled. Bedtime annihilated. Flannel pants. Mickey and Oswald take on the Wasteland. Kites and walks. Gnawing on professional chewtoys and mourning dead children and lost friends and teachers taking shooting lessons. Indulging in chocolates and naps. Winter break.

She pushes him around like she's a playground bully, but they love each other.

Rare Marky visit while I read in bed. Usually Roxy comes and noses in.

Apparently, prosthetics are "in" for the holidays this year.

These kids have the hairiest Sasquatch arms I have ever seen.  Where did THAT come from?
Nice we have the time to ponder such mysteries.

Ah, puzzles.  The most underrated and budget-friendly gift ever. Hours of quiet, engaged fun.

The cover of Life Magazine feels incredibly irrelevant this year.

Sibling cooperation. Rare and lovely.

Dinner at Rocco's with Daddy.  Love having him around more these long holiday weekends. 

This Razor Powerwing scooter is so cool.  Santa made a good choice.  I want the grown-up version.  Seriously.

Cleaning out the barbecue for our Christmas steaks.  It's awesome to have an enterprising kid who likes fire.
Or frightening.

Bathtime

Steamboat Willie Halloween Costume

My son wanted to go as Steamboat Willie this year, Mickey Mouse in his first role.  In black and white.   We visited Disneyland for the first time this summer, and he spent the money he had saved on a stuffed black and white Steamboat Willie.  He goes for the classics, the originals of things.

I knew it would be a challenge, but it sounded like fun.  Also, I felt I needed to compensate for buying both my kids their costumes last year.

We started with a design.  G drew his ideas and we talked them through.

Then we went shopping.  He already had white shorts, but we picked up inexpensive black gloves, a black turtleneck and black opaque tights.  At the thrift shop we found a pair of Crocs clogs, and decided to cover those in white somehow.  At the craft store we picked up plaster coated gauze, inexpensive craft paint, and black and white craft foam. I also found a jumbo-sized black pipe cleaner that was perfect for a tail.  Really, it was not an overly expensive costume.  $35 for everything.

Mask: Next, we made a plaster mask over G's face.

We didn't worry much about the shape of the eye holes and left the space immediately around his nose and mouth open.  I figured we'd trim the eyeholes to the right shape.  I covered the back of his head with plaster gauze, but ended up having to cut away much of the back so that he could put on and remove the mask.

Next, I shaped the nose out of aluminum foil, and duct-taped it to the face.  All of this was just by playing around until it looked right.

Then we trimmed the eye holes (for looks) and the sides and back of the mask (for fit), and covered the whole thing in another layer or two of plaster gauze, to hold the nose on and smooth the edges around the chin and eyes. The nose shape fit over the top of the mouth/nose hole (because Mickey's smile would be more around G's actual chin than on his mouth.  So breathing was easy to manage.

Nose: I used black yarn to shape an oblong nose for Mickey, which we used glue and straightpins to attach after painting.

Ears: Before painting, we used a multitool's serrated edge to cut slits in the plaster gauze where Mickey's ears should be.  We used my daughter's headband with Mouse Ears to get an idea of the angle.  Then we made the ears using two circles of black craft foam glued together.  In between the layers on one side there was a tab that was cut to fit through the slits.  The idea was that after the ears dried separately, and the paint was dry, we could slide them into place and duct tape the double-layered tabs inside the mask.  It worked pretty well.

Paint: After the plaster was finished drying completely, we painted the front part of the mask white with acrylic craft paint, pencilled in the marks for the black, and carefully added two or three layers of black acrylic craft paint.  I had a bit of trouble with the mouth, and ended up having to make Mickey's tongue much thinner than I originally thought it was at the bottom of his smile.  Wider and not so thick. I painted the smile down where G's real chin was inside the mask.

Hat: G shaped the hat out of white craft foam.  We made the slouchy top with a black athletic sock with a coffee can lid inside it and another sock stuffed in there.  We used Tacky Glue and straight pins to first get the hat to stay on that head. Once it dried it stayed amazingly well. You can kind of see the black-yarn nose in this shot:

Pants: We found oversized white buttons at the discount fabric store, and outlined them with Sharpie before attaching them to G's shorts.

Shoes: In a stroke of genius, we covered the clogs with athletic socks and then painted over the socks (shoes and all) with white craft paint.

Ta Da!  I think we had to go back inside and get the tail, but he looked great!