Minor Peeve of the Week #1

Minor Peeve of the Week: It makes me depressed that all the kids flannel jammies are polyester. I mean, I know my children are in danger of bursting into flames as they sleep each night, but sheesh. And the secondary peeve that is part of that peeve is that to shop for cotton flannel jammie pants for my kids I have to shop for "cotton flannel lounge pants." And also that apparently J.C.Penney has stopped carrying these, or at least at the one nearby. They were always my go-to for flannel pants because they always had tons of 100% cotton ones on sale at the holidays. Pooh.

A Thought from Emerson for Thanksgiving Day

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am grateful I have had so many days to blunder and be absurd.  Thank you to all the people in my life who are still willing to love me and be my friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

How to Behave in Public as a Female Professional

Wow.  I am sad that this type of thing is still happening. This is from the New York Post.

Firm to female staffers: Learn hard words

By Natalie O'Neill

October 25, 2013 | 1:08pm

Smart women don’t show cleavage — or at least that’s what one high-powered Manhattan law firm is telling its female employees.

The legal firm Clifford Chance sent female associates a bizarre memo advising them to  stop giggling, squirming and showing cleavage while speaking in public, irking female employees who called the tips sexist, the legal news website Abovethelaw.comreports.

The memo urges lady lawyers to “practice hard words,” stop saying “like” and to button up, explaining “No one heard Hillary the day she showed cleavage” and “Think Lauren Bacall, not Marilyn Monroe.”

It also offers tips on how to be more masculine while speaking, noting “lower your voice” and “take up space.”

The presentation tips were sent to female employees of the firm across the country, which angered  lady lawyers, who said it unfairly singles out women as air-headed and unprofessional.

“[F]emale associates are very upset by not only the elementary nature of the tips themselves, but the suggestion that these would only apply to women. We have never been a very female friendly firm, but this is beyond the pale,” one employee told the site.

Other tips on the memo include:

• “Like” You’ve got to Lose “Um” and “Uh,” “You know,” “OK,” and “Like”
• Don’t raise your pitch at the end of a statement if it’s not a question.
• Lower the pitch — say “uh-huh” and match that pitch to how low you can go
• Don’t qualify: “Kind of, sort of, just…”
• Don’t giggle
• Don’t squirm

It also offers “what not to wear” tips:

• Don’t dress like a mortician: if wearing a black suit, wear something bright
• Don’t dress like you do every day, wear something special
• If wearing a skirt make sure the audience can’t see up it when sitting on the dais
• If wearing a scarf, make sure it stays tied
• Make sure you can stand in your heels, not trip, don’t rock back on them

A rep from the firm said the  tips came from one particular individual who found them helpful.

“The original presentation and associated tips represented a personal perspective, shared with a group of colleagues, some just starting out in their careers,” the representative said.

“We believe that it is important that women as well as men are given access to a range of different viewpoints and approaches; there is no Clifford Chance template on how people should present. The offense caused by a small percentage of the suggestions in the tip sheet was entirely unintentional.”

Clifford Chance: Presentation Tips for Women

Dear Page

[flash fiction]

Dear Page/ Dear Screen/ Dear Void,

I'm writing because I haven't written. You poor neglected beast.

I haven't been writing but I've been thinking my head.

Thoughts that are better left unsaid.

Those hasty generalizations and anxious bursts of feeling that can only cause trouble. Averse to trouble as I am I have a way of finding it, probably because of those thoughts. They nip at my heels like playful pups with their sharp milk teeth. Like cats they crawl up to my chest while I'm sleeping and suck my breath. 

They are the thoughts entertained by anyone. Or so I must assume. I can't confirm that because I won't let them see the light of day, poor children chained under the porch while I enjoy the cookies and milk. 

They starve of neglect, but wither and do not pass. Rather I pass them in the street and deny them coins. 

They sneak into my bed at night and leave changelings.

They are disagreeable. Personas non gratas. uninvited guests. But their voices twitter outside the windows and their nails scrape the panes. I leave them in the cold. They never let me forget it.

So I am sorry I have not written. I do miss you. 

Love,

Me

Apology to Non-Idiots

Dear J, D, C and J,

    Today in class, I slipped and called you idiots. You are not idiots, and I apologize for that.What I intended to express was that, because you are not in fact idiots, you should not act in such ways that degrade your own intelligence and capability.  All three of you were not acting like students today.You were listening to your classmate present, but instead of showing him support by remaining quiet until there was a chance to ask questions, you continued to talk under your breath during his presentation.  The person at the front of the room can’t hear what you are saying, and it could affect their confidence and their ability to make their best presentation. Watching this happen was very frustrating to me, and yet there was no time to interrupt the presentation to correct this juvenile behavior, and I didn’t want to throw the student off even more by stopping his speech.  So by the time I called you the name, I was very frustrated with your behavior.

    In addition, there was continued chatting and even whistling as I was going around trying to get the class going on the in-class essay.  Time was very short for this assignment because I changed my plans to accommodate you classmate’s presentation, and I was in disbelief that you would be so callous as to continue the disruptive behavior as people were trying to work.  Besides that, one of the people being disruptive was someone that I was personally trying to help by sharpening a pencil and lending it to him.  It seemed extremely disrespectful and ungrateful, not to mention completely in disregard of other students, to be whistling.  Another of you has often whistled and made random noises during other such moments, and so that was the first person I addressed.  

     However, none of this really excuses namecalling.  I just want you to understand how much I want you to do the work and move on in life, perhaps with better skills than before.

    What I intended to express, and what did not come out correctly, was that you are behaving in an idiotic manner, and that you and your minds deserve better.  You deserve to complete the work and learn, and the way you are behaving only diminishes your opportunity, but also I want you to respect yourself a little more.  I’ve been teaching a long time, and I have been shown both respect and disrespect by hundreds if not thousands of students, and what I have come to understand is that most of the frustration I feel in these situations is not so much because you are disobeying me, but more because my highest wish for you is to give yourself and your classmates the opportunity to do your best work.  When I don’t see that happening, I respond intensely.  

    Anyway, I sincerely apologize and hope that you can understand what my real intentions were and forgive me.

Your teacher,

Ms. H.S.