Sunday, March 10, 2013

My House When I Sit to Grade on Sunday

A Sunday Sampler:

I have told my children that I NEED to get grading done.  I haven't brought a lot of grading home in the past several weeks because what is the point?  I can't get it done with my husband out of town most of the time now.  But quarter grades are this week, and parents and students want to know where they stand.

Keep in mind I was required to respond to all of the below.  Keep in mind this is highly fragmented because I should be grading right now and I don't have time to write down all my response. This all began around 12.  There was more before that...

Kid: "Mom, I did it!  I did it!  I got the gold!"

Kid: [Long long explanation of the way other kid got the gold out of the leprechaun trap]

Kid: "Mom.  Look at how much money I have.  Look!  Do you wish you had all this cash?  How did I get all these 20's?  Did I cash them out?  I wonder what I should do with all these ones?...."

Kid: "Hey mom?  Could you cash anything out for these ones?"

Kid: "Mom.  Do you like to have higher bills in your wallet at once?  Isn't it easier than having all those ones?"

Kid: "Mom, do you have like a normal, plain box for my leprechaun trap?"

Kid: "Hey, mom, a shoebox would work, right?  Roxy's kennel might work, but...  Ooh! a garbage can!

Kid: "I'm going outside with the hose..."

[Me, yelling: "You don't have ay clothes on!  What are you thinking! Put on some clothes!"]

Kid: "I need underwear."

Kid: "Is it lunchtime yet?"

Kid: "Mom, can I go outside on my bike?"

Kid: "I'm bored.  Ooh! Mom! Mom! Mom! Can I go on that computer uncle Bill gave me and see if I can get it on the internet? So what do I do? Plug it into the router?  Let's see, where's a USB..."

Kid: "So I plug this into into the net here?"

Kid: [dressed and wearing my sunglasses] "Mom, is there a certain kind of soap to wash trash cans?"

Kid: "Mom, can I buy a Minecraft account?"

Kid: "I'm going outside to do something."

Kid: "But why not?"

Kid: "I'm bored!"

Kid: "Can I walk the dog around at least?"

Kid: "Where's her leash?"


allofasudden a kid is standing in a plastic tub full of water with the hose on in 63 degree weather and a tank top and another kid has the drill plugged in with the wire crossing the path of the wet hose and he's got another plastic tub upturned to make a planting container but it's too shallow of a tub but the tub he wants is full of water with a little girl and a dachshund in it and I ask where his original tub went from when he was shoveling clay-heavy soil into it at the back of the yard a moment ago, but he's cleaned it out and filled it with christmas decorations so that he could use the other tub which is now filled with water and a little girl and a dog.  Aftermuchyelling we sort all that out and then the holes are drilled and  kids are off to the alleyway to gather gravel.  The neighbor tells them to watch out for transients gathering scrap metal and they bring their rock-lined tubs over for my inspection.  I remind them about the extra sand outside our wall.  That's wehre they are now, but the dog's collar is off and the flimsy temporary fence is taken down and an x-wing fighter, two little boy ties, nine socks, a blanket and assorted debris and a still-half-packed backpack from Camp Cooper litter the living room and can I get up a sec to check out the sand they shoveled?  A pile of laundry goes in and the dry stuff out of the drier first and onto my bed which has no sheets because I had to wash them because the dog peed on them really massively for no particular reason earlier in the week and the bed is also piled with about two weeks of clean laundry which we keep picking over to find our outfits for the day.  I think the dog is lonely since we had to put Markey to sleep. I call to refill prescriptions, the insurance is terminated and the pharmacist wants me to set up an online account for my son because there are no customer service phone hours on the weekend and he's out of his pills that help him focus at school all week.  The dachshund just jumped into the bin filled with water, ran through the dirt, ran inside, jumped on the couch, shook herself and slunk into her kennel when I started yelling.  Meanwhile I've been trying to clear off the table so I can sit upright instead of in an easy chair and spread out my grading so the kids don't htink I'm just messing around on Facebook.  I'm hoping it sends a message, but I've been trying to grade for 3 1/2 hours and have finished absolutely nothing, though I've started several things.  The recycling pile is out of control and needs to be taken out to the bin.  I'm about to give up and do dishes, mop the floor and collapse and have a good cry.

5:15 p.m.  So much for grading this afternoon, I guess.

8:20 p.m.  Note:  The piles on the right are "to be graded." My "finished" pile is that tiny pile above my computer.  Also about 40 more essays in Googledocs.  Ay, ay, ay.

 Of course, blogging is more fun, and I'd lose my mind completely without this outlet.


  1. Shit. I want to cry for you! I remember those days. Then I would send the kid to school without meds and within 2 hours, "Ms. Hersch, this is Mr. Dunbar. I have Trevor here in my office...". Holy crap. A lot of wine and cigarettes. Lots of wine and cigarettes!! That's the only way I made it. Pretty bad.

    1. Uh, yeah. I have been there. On Friday, in fact! Imagine that situation and then having to wait until they can send someone to cover your class, which will undoubtedly not do any work after you leave, so that you can go deal with the situation.

  2. Oh... my... I feel lucky to be single and childless. A bit.


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